I had a boyfriend in college. For almost my entire college career. I met him my Freshman year and settled on down with a steady boyfriend for the duration. Looking back, I can see now how much we each changed over the course of those four years. Unfortunately, I was clinging onto our relationship for dear life when we graduated and he decided to let go. It was such a strange time. The freedom of my life at college was over at graduation like someone flipped a switch. “It’s over girl, head on back home now”, someone may as well have said. It was a horrible breakup for me for lots of reasons. Why didn’t he want to be with me anymore? Why hadn’t he included me in his future plans to roam the country experiencing life as a young man with his whole life ahead of him? I had to move home again with my folks?? What the hell was happening to my carefree art student lifestyle? These few things stick out in my mind about the whole thing: There was lots of crying and hopelessness. There was me actually saying something like, “What if I find someone else? I know me, I’ll just go find someone else.” And him saying, “I hope you do. I hope you find someone that makes you happy.” And damn it, he really meant it. He was always so much better than me.
I was devastated, I moved back home, I painted in my parents garage, I gradually lost touch with the old boyfriend, and I had the time of my life. And somewhere along that road I met the guy I suspected I might go and find. And I never looked back. Thank you, wise college boyfriend, for pushing me away.